It’s the seventh day of this journey and today we went out into the wilderness. In fact it was the very same wilderness the Israelites wandered before coming to the promised land. The parallels between the Israelites and this tour group were interesting. A 6 am start time in the lobby was my first hint. Groggy, no coffee (I brought my trusty beaten up water bottle, super sized with coffee of course), and obviously very little sleep. We were handed boxed breakfasts and then we were informed it would be a tight squeeze into the jeeps our guides would use to transport us to one of the 26 sites proposed to be Mount Sinai. The mountain, Har Karkom, may or may not be the site of Mount Sinai but it is certainly the very same conditions if not the same area the Israelites wandered. Much like the Israelites our true colors were starting to show.
Any time a group of strangers come together for an extended period of time it takes a few days to see true colors shine through. When it is a religious group you can usually add a day or two. As we wandered into the desert weaving between mountains and through rocky wadis I began to see how the Israelites turned on each other. The natural beauty of this desert was amazing. I had the opportunity to see and touch the plants from specific texts. I suddenly found I was the biblical botanical nerd of the group (never in a million years saw that coming). Despite the beauty of the place it was a tight squeeze in the Land Rovers the guides used and the terrain was very rough. Motion sickness, jabbing elbows, disrupted digestive tracts (middle eastern food is still taking it’s toll on some of us), and all around agitation was growing ever more prevalent. Upon reaching the mountain the varying levels of physical abilities became apparent as well. One group (I will admit, I was one of them) wanted to go ahead and split into two groups. We were gazing up at the peak of the mountain, anxious to reach it’s peak. The other group just wanted to have the opportunity to see this place and it’s history without feeling ostracized by the others. One group was concerned about themselves and the other group just wanted to have an opportunity to be apart of the experience. I grew as impatient as anyone. I have always loved the outdoors, hiking and backpacking, now I had the opportunity to hike in the land of the nomadic Israelites! I was anxious, excited, and uncaring about anyone else’s needs or feelings. We were all agitated and agitating each other. We still laughed and joked but we were beginning to pull away from each other.
Now in defense of our situation, many of the seminarians did not come here to serve as tour chaplains. Many of us are here for not only the experience but we are taking this trip as a required credit for seminary. Many of us can hardly afford this trip and we want the most bang for our buck! The problem is if that bang for the buck is at someone else’s expense. Many of us (including myself) were beginning to lose sight of not only why we were there but truly WHY we were there. We weren't tour chaplains, but we are training for a life of ministry. Whether we are officially ordained or not it is important that we recognize that our (everyone’s) ministry doesn’t require ordination, it requires devotion. The same kind of devotion asked of the Israelites. Upon our return to our hotel (after another long and agitating ride back, roughly 3 hours out and 3 hours back) my roommate and I discussed the agitation in the group. We both laughed it off and observed an interesting fact, the Israelites spent 40 years we only spent 11 hours!
It is in the wilderness we are most often tested. In our testing that is when we most often find our faith. In our testing however, our worst characteristics come out in us. As we began to make our way up the mountain a new friend I have made from another seminary shouted jestingly to the group that decided to stay behind “Don’t make any golden calf’s while we’re gone!” Of course we all found it humorous but today I realized we are all carrying our golden calf with us. Our own wants and desires come out all too often at the expense of others. It is all too often that our golden calf comes out in us when we are all together in the wilderness.
Now, today was not really a wilderness journey as the Israelites experienced. When I reviewed the travels of the Israelites in Exodus (on our off road drive through the desert) I realized that the Israelite Land Rovers were only equipped with acacia wood seats and no four wheel drive. Their picnics, while certainly containing the same bologna sandwiches, hummus and olives we had, must have certainly lacked the chocolate chip cookie desert. No,they suffered at the hands of thirst, hunger, hostile groups, hostile animals, anything that you can associate with the dangers of wilderness in that time. As a result they turned, they turned on Moses, they turned on each other, they turned on YHWH.
I have always loved the wilderness but this wilderness is not one the Israelites went and visited for a weekend. This was a wilderness of suffering. Perhaps the wilderness must be experienced in order to understand how we can truly be a people of God. I wondered as we sighed and grumbled through our experience what both Moses and YHWH thought as they looked upon this nomadic tribe of riff raff slaves. Perhaps they wondered if this was the best they could do? I think it was, after today. A group of faithful and devoted seminarians as well as several parishioners and pastors knowing the love and mercy of God went out into the wilderness and displayed their humanity amongst themselves.
I was relieved when we all met up for dinner tonight. A few of us split a bottle of wine. We covered the usual topics, theology, the politics of this country we are deeply studying, and the adventure of the day. We began to joke and share stories as we polished off that bottle. At one point we were all laughing so hard all of our eyes were filled with tears. It was in that moment that I realized we have to learn how to love, laugh, and feast in the wilderness. If we can only share those moments in the time of plenty than what hope is there? Our God doesn’t share with us in the time of plenty, our God shares with us in the famine, the thirst, the doubt, the hate, the lies, the war, the pain, and the wilderness.
Salām, Peace, and Shalom -
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