Leaving it all on the track

John 21:1-19

 The Miraculous Draught of Fishes

Raphael

Before attending seminary, I used to run marathons and other road races. 

One of the keys to long distance running that I learned in high school and on, was pacing oneself. 

If you go out too fast, you will run out of gas.

There are few long distance runners who can “leave it all on the road” or “the track” so to speak. 

One runner who has become an icon in the running community was Steve Prefontaine, who broke records in long distance track and field and qualified for the 1972 Olympics in Munich. 

Prefontaine or simply “Pre” as many have come to know him, was infamous for starting out fast, right from the starting block.

This was what made and continues to make “Pre” a legendary figure in the running community even after his untimely death. 

During the 1972 Olympic 5,000 meter event, he broke the slow steady pace of the other runners right around mile 2. 

Pre leading the pack in Munich (1972)

He attempted to break the spirit of the other runners early enough that it would leave him with an easy half mile jaunt to the gold, perhaps a world record, and give the other runners nothing to compete for outside of a silver or bronze medal finish. 

But Pre went out too early and the iconic runner ran out of gas, falling to third place with just 200 meters to go, then, a mere 10 meters from the finish line, 

Pre was passed and was deprived of a third place finish and an olympic bronze medal. 

At Easter we heard Luke’s account of Peter’s one man footrace to the tomb. 

Peter runs alone, sprinting to the tomb to see for himself what Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary, and the other women from Galilee had described as the empty tomb.  

But last week, we changed gears from Luke’s account of the gospel to John’s gospel and we continue with John’s account today. 

In John’s account of the empty tomb, Peter finds himself with a little competition. 

The unnamed disciple, usually described as the “other” disciple or the “beloved” disciple, not only runs with Peter but beats him to the tomb, taking the lead and depriving Peter of the first place role Peter consistently seeks among the disciples. 

This unnamed disciple not only has a fairly nice stride but is the only one of the 12 disciples that shows up at the foot of the cross as Jesus is taking his final breaths. 

This beloved disciple is entrusted with the care of Jesus’ own mother, Mary, at the foot of that cross.

The unnamed disciple even accompanies Jesus into his trial prior to the crucifixion, leaving Peter in the courtyard where Peter fulfills Jesus’ prediction and denies his own discipleship. 

Peter is not only a poor competitor in this race, it would seem he hasn’t even crossed the starting line. 

Peter’s denial of his discipleship is not only an abandonment of Jesus’ teaching, it is an abandonment of the man who is left to die alone on the cross. 

Left to die by all of those closest to him with the exception of a mere few, including that unnamed disciple. 

So it is any wonder that as the disciples are struggling to haul in this huge catch of fish, Peter’s attention shifts back to winning the race.

The scene even strikes me as a bit comical as this unnamed beloved disciple tells Peter, “Hey, check it out! It’s the Lord on the beach giving us fishing tips!”

I imagine Peter pushing this disciple into the boat proclaiming, “I got dibs this time!”

The Disciples Peter and John Running to the 

Sepulchre on the Morning of the Resurrection

Eugène Burnand

100 meters from shore and Peter is all in, literally. 

No way he is going to be beaten this time as he swims to shore.

Now many claim that Peter is seeking a redemption that would return him to first place in the eyes of Jesus. 

I suppose that is one interpretation and a potentially valid one, but after abandoning the man that Peter told he would follow to the cross on Golgotha, I would argue this is more of a personal redemption. 

It is hard to believe that Peter is jockeying for the position of the most favored disciple. 

After abandoning Jesus to die alone, there is no way for Peter to think that a first place finish as the #1 disciple is even attainable. 

Peter’s abandonment and denial must have seemed unforgivable in his own eyes. 

Rather than seeking favor, I would argue that Peter is seeking the chance to confess his shame. 

And there is no shame that compares to the abandonment of another especially someone we claim to love, in their final breaths.

Peter most likely has returned to Galilee to escape his own shame, to return to the sense of normalcy, hoping to find a sense of peace that is no longer attainable. 

In Ernest Hemingway’s World War I novel, A Farewell to Arms, he tells the story of an American who receives a commission in the ambulance corps of the Italian Army. 

The character, Lieutenant Frederic Henry, deserts the army and travels to Stresa, Italy to escape the war. 

He attempts to avoid any memory of the war, refusing to talk about the war or even catch a glimpse of the newspapers, even claiming that he intends to completely forget the war ever occurred. 

But anyone who has ever experienced war can attest to the fact that war cannot be forgotten.

It changes you and it is a change that cannot be undone. 

In fact, the character Henry himself attests to this reality when he claims, 

“The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially.”

Peter has come to recognize this when confronted by the reality of the Lord on that beach. 

There is no escape from the reality of the ministry that he has witnessed. 

It is a consistently challenging ministry in John’s account. 

A public ministry that doesn’t build up to a climactic confrontation but is riddled with conflict throughout. 

An account of Jesus’ ministry that takes him and his disciples to Jerusalem not once, as in the other gospels, but four times over the course of three years. 

And a ministry that breaks all those who joined Jesus, a breaking that culminates at the cross shattering the disciples in grief and fear. 

Which is where we find them following the empty tomb, attempting to mend themselves and move on with life. 

This is why we find the setting of the story at the sea of Galilee, where the disciples seek to return to their old ways of life but cannot even return to the vocations they have always known. 

Pulling in empty nets, they are fisherman that can no longer even catch fish.

And even though this is the third appearance of Jesus following the empty tomb, there was no clear call or vision for a continued ministry in the absence of Jesus. 

But in this meeting, Peter -longing to be mended and made strong in his broken places- comes before the Lord to find redemption, but is instead questioned by the Lord. 

Peter knows this line of questioning will offer him no redemption. 

Peter is no longer a credible witness before any of the disciples much less Jesus himself. 

And the subject in which he is questioned is the very topic in which he has already perjured himself before a litigator who has most certainly proven himself to be the foremost expert on the topic: love. 

Peter’s love is questioned by the One who measures love

Not in hospitality

The Denial of Saint Peter

Gerard Seghers

Not in displays of affection

Not in pledges of loyalty

But in the sacrifice of one’s own life!

So when Jesus asks,

“Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

Peter knows he is being asked if he can again make the same pledge he made at their final meal together before the crucifixion, when Peter claimed he would follow Jesus to the cross and lay his life down for him. 

But this time he knows that if he says it, he’d better mean it. 

And just as he denied the Lord three times, he is asked three times. 

“Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter is deeply hurt when he is asked the third time. 

Peter’s confession of his love for Jesus has been expressed in the deepest way Peter knows how. 

And the pain Peter feels is grounded in the futility to prove his love because he interprets Jesus’ repeated questioning as an understandable reflection of his own lack of credibility. 

But Peter misinterprets the reasoning for this three part questioning. 

It isn’t grounded in Peter’s lack of credibility

It isn’t grounded in Peter’s lack of love

It is grounded in Jesus’ love for Peter

Because Peter’s confession of love will carry a heavy yoke, one that all the disciples failed, fail, and will continue to fail when asked to bear: 

FOLLOW ME

The word "following" is used in all four gospel accounts a total of 90 times. 

And regardless of how that word is translated, the act of following is never an act that is seen to completion. 

They are all in the race, yes, but Jesus leaves it all on the track. 

And that is why we all fail to follow Jesus, because Jesus invites us to leave it all on the track and that is a pace that we just can’t keep. 

The Christ invites us to run a race that we cannot run, at least not on our own.

And it is a race that we will not win, at least not alone. 

But in this final account, Peter is warned, we are all warned this is a race that will take us to places that we don’t want to go. 

A finish line we claim to seek but we are hesitant to reach for.

Feeding the lambs we would prefer to persecute.

Tending the sheep that we cannot herd because they refuse to hear.

Feeding the sheep that exhaust our resources.

Wearing the yoke of Christ that may take us to places that we do not want to go

But those are the places where the gospel leads us.

The font where we are not only born into Christ but the place where we die with Christ.

The railing where we receive the very body and blood, but we seldom feel the weight of that body through the bread we hold in our hands. 

The assurance we receive in the absolution that we are not only forgiven but loved in spite of the fact that we are all so undeserving of that love. 

And the charge we are given to go out into that world and share this good news, after receiving a benediction that Christ the Lamb, the Spirit of Truth, and the Lord God Almighty will be at our side as we share in that mission we are so hesitant to take on.

Yeah, it’s a tough race and the finish line doesn’t seem too appealing, but we are assured the gold, as long as you get in the race. 

And you don’t have to even catch up to Jesus.

After all, even if we can't keep the pace, he’s invited us to draft him from the font to the finish. 

Amen

Crucifixion of St. Peter  

Caravaggio