Breaking News!!!!!

Sermon on 08/24/2014 for Ruth 3 Narrative lectionary. 

         Welcome back to our live coverage on MBC (Moabite broadcasting network) of this breaking news report concerning the actions of the tribe of Benjamin. We are continuing our coverage of the Benjamite oppression of the Moabite refugees. The actions of the Banjamites have really taken a turn for the worse after events unfolded last night concerning the purely intentioned Moabite refugee; Ruth. In the late hours last night, in desperate hunger while attempting to feed her elderly widowed mother-in-law, this Moabite woman of the purest intentions longing for nothing more than leftover grains that even filthy swine wouldn’t eat, was victimized by an elite land owner; Boaz. I can’t help but make the observation that this Benjamite elitism has taken the ugliest of turns. This wealthy landowner, Boaz, apparently based upon eyewitness accounts gorged himself on the best food and wines possible right in front of this lowly moabite refugee. After not even offering her a single morsel he attempted to force himself upon her. During these events witnesses are claiming that Mr Boaz used his status to promise this poor young woman some type of financial compensation. I’m sorry, I am just at a loss for words right now as reports continue to come in. I just ……. bear with me, after victimizing this refugee, he simply cast her aside. This is an appalling development we are uncovering at this moment. I just really cannot believe the reports we are hearing. We must demand justice for this Moabite. I mean, how much longer will we make allowances for this kind of behavior. We cannot, we should not, just sit idly by while this elitist privilege persists. 

Ugh! Now from what we are hearing Mr. Boaz threatened this poor refugee and demanded that she tell NO ONE what took place on the threshing floor. I cannot imagine what she must be feeling at this moment. These events are absolutely appalling. I’m sorry….. I am just getting word that we have a friend of a nephew of Naomi who is willing to tell us what he has heard from the sister of the shepherd that saw this poor refugee victim, Ruth, come out of the threshing floor last night. Please stay with us through the commercial break and we will be right back with that information after these messages. And please, ladies and gentlemen if you have young children you may want them to leave the room. We’ll be right back after this……

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Welcome back to BNN (Benjamite News Network) as we continue to cover the events in Bethlehem this morning concerning what took place at the Boaz threshing floor last night. This is currently a developing story and details are pouring in. Just to fill you in on what we know so far; the Moabite insurgency has taken a despicable turn in the late hours of the evening last night. Mr. Boaz, the hardworking farmer of a small plot of land, may have everything he has worked for ripped from him because of a refugee Moabite flinging accusations at him. While the family of this refugee, a “Ms” Ruth, have not formally filed charges as of yet, we are awaiting further developments in light of the accusations that have come from a nephew of the cousin of Mr Boaz’s foreman’s son who just happened to be on site last night in the midst of the developments we are seeing. If you are not already aware, Mr. Boaz, who worked hard for this land, has already attempted to extend care to many of the refugees and needy we have seen come out of this Moabite incursion. Ladies and Gentlemen, I mean, here is a guy who worked hard for everything he’s got. This isn’t just some guy who took a hand me down from God, here folks, and along comes this Moabite who some are saying even killed her first husband. Honestly, what would you expect from a Moabite, folks? Now she is alleging that Mr. Boaz, a hardworking Benjamite and a chosen Israelite has taken advantage of her amidst his generosity and compassion for her and her people. How much lower can you go, folks?

Reports are now saying that after this alleged assault on Ms. Ruth took place, Mr. Boaz was not seen coming out of from the threshing floor for some time after the Moabite, Ruth stormed out with a cloak loaded for bear with an unknown substance concealed. I don’t think it’s a far stretch to assume that Mr. Boaz was not only assaulted himself but that this petty thief, this woman of ill repute, perhaps even a killer, but definitely a woman from outside of God’s covenant people, stole property from the Boaz farm and is now accusing him of victimizing her. How much more can this woman ask for, folks? When we come back we will talk with one of our Sadducees here at BACS who handled the Ballam ass case. You all remember that nut don’t you? Seriously folks, when are we going to quit allowing this kind of nonsense from these Moabite terrorists? I’m sorry, people, there is just no other way to put it, they are a bunch of terrorists.  Stick around, we’ll be back after these messages with a special guest to shed some more light on this situation. 

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Hey….. My name is Jephthah and I have been challenged by Samson to participate in the Moabite assistance fund’s ice bucket challenge. Before I dump all of this bucket of ice water over my head *thanks a lot Samson!* I extend the challenge to Ibzan, Elon, and Eli. You have less than 24 hours to accept the challenge or donate 100 baskets of barley to the cause. Okay, here I go……..

Ugh…. Thanks Samson, now why don’t you go cut off all that hair and donate it to the Philistine relief fund!

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Welcome back to God’s word, where you get the true story of the Gospel without commercial interruption although it seems we have had plenty of human interruption. The latest news coming out of Bethlehem is full of good news although this great hope is still developing as we speak. Apparently things are changing in the midst of starvation, war, as well as partisan, tribal, and ethnic claims. God is apparently working through us to be a light unto the nations! Yes, in the midst of the all of the recent anger and hate, God is opening the covenant to the world. Some are saying that this will infringe on their own covenant with God, and God doesn’t have enough to go around. Others are claiming that God is working to bring down those who once held the covenant over the heads of everyone else. They are claiming it is time to bring the oppressive holders of the covenant down in order to establish a new covenant. 

While the debate rages on, we have a great example of God’s work coming out of Bethlehem right now. It would appear that a cautious and wealthy law biding citizen from the tribe of Benjamin is allowing a Moabite peasant into the covenant under his care. Yes, you have heard it here, a Moabite. As this covenant expands it would appear that it is having a deep impact on God’s economic relationship with the world. It appears God is working through ALL people to establish the Kingdom in this world. 

There are problems however. Rival claims to God’s goodness and mercy are driving a wedge within our human community. While God is attempting to unite all people under the reign of a just and righteous Creator, many are attempting to decide how this Benjamite and Moabite should go about their business and God’s plan. Some are claiming that this Moabite, Ruth, is not a member of the covenant community, while others are claiming that this Benjamite business man should see what it feels like to be on the other side of the covenant for once. 

In the middle of all this we are still waiting on God for word. We are waiting to hear further  as to who is in and who is out. We are hoping to hear a little more about this event. Many are hoping that the Messiah will arrive shortly to iron all this out for us. Ladies and Gentlemen, I just hope it isn’t too little, too late. I wonder if folks will actually listen to the Messiah, or will they claim the Messiah for themselves. We will continue this story as it unfolds for the rest of human history. 

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In the midst of preparation for today’s sermon I have been sitting in the middle of many debates. I have been pressed by friends, colleagues, and family to weigh in on debates raging across our nation and across our world. Folks have even asked my opinion on the role of social media and the ice bucket challenge, and while I find the ice bucket challenge is a great way to get involved, I wonder what we do after the ice has melted and dried up? Are we still engaged? Are we still involved? Are we still listening and speaking out in love? My experiences, as well Pastor Lou’s, cause us to land squarely in the middle of many of these debates. I find hope in this, because I am not arrogant enough to believe I know the answers. I do know what I want, however. 

I want God’s reign in the world to come. I want God’s reign to bring justice and peace to God’s world, God’s nation, God’s Church. I want to live in a nation where we can pray for our enemies before we shoot or scream at them. 

In the midst of this week we have an opportunity to read and discuss the story of Ruth on the threshing floor. Truly a scandalous story for its day and age. A foreign woman from quite literally “the other side of the covenant” and an Israelite man from the tribe of Benjamin. The man, Boaz, is not only one of God’s chosen but a wealthy landowner even when compared to his kinsmen. Ruth, is a member of a group not only outside of the covenant, but a nation that has declared war on the Israelites time and again. Israel is a nation that is at war with itself due to tribal alliances and internal conflicts. Yet here, in this story, we find God at work. This story is where we reach the climax. Both Ruth and Boaz take a risk. Perhaps Boaz takes a much more calculated risk, while Ruth risks not only her reputation, but her life for the care of Naomi and her own future. 

You don’t need to study this story tediously to bring it into this age or this week. There is a difference though, Ruth and Boaz are responding to one another. They are responding to one another not in the temple or the synagogue, but on the threshing floor. They are responding to one another in a controversial way and under controversial circumstances. This very text is a very controversial within the Hebrew canon, because it is used to debate the validity of foreign claims to the covenant upon returning from exile. 

I’m not so sure we don’t face these same controversies today. The problem is we are not listening to one another. We cannot listen on the street, in the media, on social media, in our own homes, or even in our places of worship. We yell, we condemn, we accuse, we ignore, we tweet, we post. Yet here we find Boaz and Ruth working towards God’s will working towards God’s plan through them. Boaz and Ruth are allowing God to work through them despite everything they have on the line.

Ruth is risking more than just her reputation, she is risking her very life. If her intentions are discovered, she risks not just isolation and persecution leading to starvation, but victimization and even execution for her actions. Boaz risks everything he has. He risks his livelihood, his reputation, his place in the community.

Despite the risks, they both listen to not only one another, but they listen for God at work in it all. Sisters and Brothers as you will see very soon Ruth and Boaz are called to something greater than they, something greater than any of us. It is in their willing discernment they hear God's work through them to be the future of God's people.They patiently and carefully discern and listen, to God and to one another; a Moabite and an Israelite from the tribe of Benjamin. No matter what perceptions they face, feelings they may have, risks they may take, or options they have before them.They take faith in God that through God good will come to them, through them. Maybe we don’t need a government, courts, or places of worship. I sometimes wonder how much good it is doing. 

Perhaps we need a threshing floor. 

Honestly, I don’t think it matters where it is or how we do it. God’s goodness comes through and in all things if we let it. We just need to listen and speak compassionately, lovingly, as the children of God, created in the image of God all of us. 

Can we speak lovingly words that we would also speak in the presence of God so that other’s can truly hear our voice as a voice of compassion? 

Can we be patient enough? Can we be silent enough? Can we be thoughtful, compassionate, and loving enough? Can we refrain from reacting, and instead listen for, and respond to God’s love? 

I believe we can, if we are open to the gift of God’s grace through faith in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

Sisters and Brothers, this is the Word of God. I for one hope that for you this day God’s word was reported here LIVE. 

שלום ,سلام,‎ and Peace

A Response for Justice

           

           In the past few days there has been an outpouring of anger, demands, accusations, and calls to action. The tragic death of Michael Brown has been the catalyst for a neatly drawn line with voices demanding we choose. I am saddened by the divisive politics and social commentary through social media. I also am saddened by the manipulation of people through emotionally baiting one another. Regardless of the facts or lack therof we are collectively and individually quick to anger and judgment, the very issue that brought us here in the first place.  

There are two sides to this issue and what I have found and continue to find is that we most often have two sides that fuel one another. We find ourselves playing chicken with one another for respect. We call for one side to respect the other and only then, once that offering is made, will consideration be made to offer the same to the other. Love your enemies becomes a call to love one’s enemies once reparations and apologies have been delivered or authority and respect have been recognized. A conditional reconciliation would be a generous definition but an emotionally charged accusative blackmail would be more accurate on either account.

            We are quick to react when such events take place as the shooting of Michael Brown. We are quick to react to the death of a young man with his arms raised pleading for his life, shot in cold blood by an angry police officer. We are quick to react to a militant community making excuses for angry and violent behavior. We are quick to react to a bureaucratic system that is stacking the deck against an oppressed community. We are quick to react to a robber intent on violently ending the life of an officer. These are all lines that have been drawn this past week.

            Here is the thing I have not heard as much of; response. You see, a response is a verbal or written answer but reaction is in fact an action. We are quick to react but we accuse response of complacency. In our impatience for justice and truth we will sacrifice those two very principles we claim to be seeking. Justice and truth take time and they demand response. It is in response that we find truth and justice.

            As details emerge perhaps we can seek out ways to diligently respond to what is happening. Instead of reacting to a murdering police officer maybe we can respond to a young officer that is horrified and frightened at what has transpired and has spun out of control. Instead of reacting to a violent criminal who was shot attempting to murder an officer in the line of duty, perhaps we can respond in grief for a young man whose life ended far too young and will never have the opportunity to make an impact on this world. Instead of reacting to an intolerant police department determined to oppress and victimize we can respond to a group of scared police who have no idea how they have gotten into this situation or how to get out. Instead of reacting to a violent and unreasonable community using this as an excuse to lash out uncontrollably, we can respond to a community hurt by a loss of a member and uncertain they can be the recipients of justice.

          We are quick to react but our reactions build walls, they draw lines. Responses give us a chance to empathize, share, engage and wait patiently, anxiously for justice and righteousness. The demand for quick judgment and results does not provide the time needed to fully discern and gather the tools to paint a full picture. A full picture clarifies, it heals, and it provides the opportunity for justice. Clarity is needed when we speak of justice, however. Justice is not always what we want. Maybe that is the biggest problem in all of this though. Maybe we aren’t seeking justice, maybe we are seeking justification, and maybe we are seeking revenge. Justification and revenge are not synonymous with justice but justice is something we are called to seek. Justice isn’t easy and it isn’t always pleasant but it is necessary. Do we have the patience and tolerance to wait alongside fellow members of our collective humanity to seek justice? Do we have the grace to pray with them, for them, regardless of where they stand? We might be surprised at what praying for those whom we do not like or agree does for us. You might find it heals the one in prayer as much as those for whom we pray. 

           I lift up Officer Wilson, his friends, coworkers, and family in prayer. I lift up Michael Brown, his family, friends, and neighborhood in prayer. I do not pray for their community, I pray for our community. If I can pray for our human community, maybe I can start to recognize it as that; one human community in patient response together awaiting justice

שלום ,سلام, and Peace

Welcoming all "Foodies"!

Sermon from August 3rd, 2014 on Isaiah 55:1-5

Many of you have known me for years, some of you may have no idea who I am, but those of you who know me best know that I am a foodie in every sense of the word. I am not alone in this. In fact when Pastor P was first called to this congregation my wife, C and I hosted Pastor P his first night in town. I was showing off my smoker as I carefully hovered over the temperature gauge and placed just the right amount of wood chips into the smoker. I am not certain if Pastor P recalls the succulent cuisine of that evening, but I recall his request for seconds and thirds. At that point I thought he was quite a nice fit at Epiphany. (To say nothing of his dashing hair and beard style).

To this day I think this makes him a nice fit as a called Pastor in this congregation because as I look out I see a wide variety of foodies. Here at Epiphany we have a variety of tastes in food and drink. We have home brewers, competitive BBQ cooks, we even have professional chefs. Just consider the excitement that has surrounded the opening of the new Southern Season culinary and kitchenware hub, and the disappointment as our local food festivals here in Richmond come to a close in the fall.

Yes, as I look out at these many faces I see quite a few foodies. I have seen your pictures of carefully crafted meals on Pinterest and Facebook, we have exchanged many recipes, and my hand has been stabbed by many of your forks as I reached into the box of fried chicken at our congregational meals. It is in fact a very well known stereotype of Lutherans that we love food. 

In our first lesson today food is a central theme. It is a central theme to the audience in Isaiah, a segment of the Judean people returning to their homes after being exiled into a foreign land. They have been humiliated, cast aside, treated abhorrently. Upon their return they have come to find their homes have oftentimes been confiscated, lands repossessed by not only those outside of their own religious community but those who have made heretical claims to their own faith. Their land, their belongings, their very identity have all been confiscated from them. This is the ultimate desecration of not only one’s culture, faith, and society, but it is by its very nature an attack upon the individual themselves. They have been nothing less than violated by all of those that surround them. Their very return to their motherland is littered in pain and sadness. Yet here Isaiah uses food as an analogy. 

Food, the very thing that is not only central to this day in Jewish and obviously Lutheran society, but the very thing that the community listening to these words finds wanting! Of course, this is a call to return to the Lord, to be fed in a buffet of plenty. Succulent food, rich and filling. A food that will feed not the body but the soul. But who is called to this feast, who is Isaiah calling to the table?

In my travels I have come to find there is no purer form of community than around a table of food and drink. Meals as a form of hospitality have been the ultimate sign of communal respect and shared experience throughout history. It is a powerful symbol that crosses cultural barriers. 

When in the middle east if one refuses food or drink, the host is left dishonored. Waving chopsticks when sharing a meal in China is considered in poor taste, and you should never stick your chopsticks in your noodles or rice leaving them pointed upright. When in Russia it is in poor taste to refuse vodka, and in Ireland it is very similar, but whiskey is considered the beverage of choice. 

Within Judaism there was a long history of hospitality towards guests. As some of my fellow travelers who accompanied me to Israel this past January, and those who have been there before will tell you, those rules do not apply as they once did. I'm not sure when this cultural norm was lost but today when in Israel one must be certain to “get while the gettin’s good”! 

During our stay at one particular hotel in Israel, a father overheard me exclaim to another traveler “I just don’t get it, I mean, is there a line?!” after observing several Israeli citizens on vacation simply grab food nearly right out of my hand. The father, after he and his child also had food snatched from their grasp, exclaimed to me, "I have lived here all my life and I still do not understand how people don’t recognize waiting in line for food, you just have to accept the fact that there are two lines; one for those with manners and one for everyone else.” 

It makes me wonder, perhaps today’s lesson from Isaiah is where patience became so thin. A starving people are told that they are invited to the table. A table of rich food, wine, milk, and breads. A table overflowing with food provided by God. But there is a catch, they are not called to only eat, they are called to feed others. 

It’s a feast! It’s a party! We are told to come to the table, and we aren't just ordered to come to the table to feast. Just as the feast is being described as an elegant and succulent meal, we are commanded to call to others to join in our feasting. It makes me picture a young child who has just come in from outside playing, and as they have just washed their hands and begun to move that first bite towards their mouth, they are scolded to wait for everyone else. 

Everyone else……. I mean sure, everyone else. My wife, my kids, P, maybe this time he can bring his wife M and their children with them. I can handle that right? 

Everyone else…… 

But that’s not the everyone else being called to this table. God isn’t calling just our own community to this table. If that were the case, this would be nothing more than a feast of thanksgiving. A festival of gorging ourselves and selfishly hoarding the tasty delights that God provides. 

But this is a feast for the soul, the spirit and God is calling upon the Judeans and now we, to call the very one’s we despise to our table. God is charging the Judeans to themselves, call those who have stolen their lands, those who have corrupted their faith, those who have persecuted them, those who have wronged them in every way. God is calling the Judeans to serve them this meal. God is calling the Judeans to invite the enemy to their table, to not only share in this meal, but to be an extension of the hand of God. 

Our table has grown smaller just as our community has grown smaller.

Today’s first lesson is a lesson much easier brushed aside in favor of the performance of one of  Jesus’ greatest miracles as we heard in today’s Gospel. But this is our charge, this is our call. We are called to share this table with the despised, the hated, the poor, the lowly. 

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This past week I heard a theological defense arguing the existence of God in the midst of the evils of the world. In this explanation the individual used a story of a barber. In the story the barber advises a pastor that he is an atheist and that he cannot believe in the existence of God in a world so full of suffering. The Pastor walks out the barber shop, after getting his hair cut,  and notices a disheveled vagrant man sitting outside the barber shop and immediately walks back in to advise the barber that he no longer believes in barbers because of the long haired vagrant sitting outside the barber shop, to which the barber replies “well, he has never come to me”

Now bear with me at this point because Christy pleaded that I take my initial reaction to this theological insight out of my sermon, but to put it lightly I was very passionately frustrated with this explanation. I found it fundamentally flawed and certainly not very Lutheran.

You see in today's 1st lesson we hear a command, “Behold, you shall call nations that you know not”. My problem with the story is this; If the Pastor truly heard these words from Isaiah we have heard today he wouldn't walk back in to argue the existence of God, he himself would have offered the disheveled man a haircut!

We are given a gift, freely given to us all. It is the gift of God’s grace. We are justified by God’s grace through faith in Jesus Christ. What we do in this life, why it is we do the work of God in the world, is not for the rich food at the table, it is in response to the gift already given by God. It is God that has glorified us, this is our reward! We are called and sent by God the creator to sustain a malnourished world and redeem a creation that we fail to sustain without the direction of God’s grace and Spirit. We don’t get to choose, we aren't called to choose, we are only called to invite to the table all who are hungry and all who thirst. It is not our gift to give, it is God’s. We are just the one’s who are lucky enough to share in that gift. At this table we get to feast as the Body of Christ together. As the Body of Christ however, we are called to extend the table and add a leaf, scrounge up more chairs, and set more places. But when we are done setting that table, we are called to invite those we fear, those we despise, those who hate us. 

It’s not ours to give, it’s ours to serve. 

But what does this look like in a world torn by war, afflicted by disease and poverty? How are we invited into this call, what actions do we take? These past few weeks the silence was so deafening that we had some guests come and sit at God's table while we weren't watching.

Over the past several days I have watched a symbol sprout up across the internet in news articles and social media. The Arabic letter “nun” has drawn attention from religious leaders and faith communities as a symbol of Christian unity.You see, the Islamic State, formerly known as ISIS, uses the letter “nun” to identify Christians in Mosul as Nazarenes.

When Jeremy Courtney, a Christian philanthropist living in Iraq started this movement, he was hoping to draw attention to the plight of not only the Christians in Iraq but the Shia, the Turkmen, even other Sunni Iraqis being targeted by the Islamic state militants. But when western Christians heard that the Islamic State had marked Christian homes with the symbol threatening Christians to convert to Islam, pay a submission tax, face the sword, or flee, the “nun” became a sign of solidarity for Christians alone. 

What we have failed to see in our media is the growing solidarity of the people of Iraq. The symbol ended up being printed on t-shirts and etched onto skin with markers, not as a method to single a particular group out, but so that these Iraqi Muslims too may join the ranks of those Christians facing persecution and possibly even death.

In Baghdad during a sermon two weeks ago, the head of the Chaldean Catholic Church Patriarch Louis Sako called the actions of The Islamic State actions not against just Christians but crimes against humanity which haver never before been seen in the history of Christendom or Islam. His words not only reached the ears of a wide Christian audience but over 200 Muslim Iraqis also in attendance wearing t shirts claiming “I am Iraqi, I am Christian”.

But why? Why would these Iraqi Muslims risk their lives, their homes, their families? Who has called THEM to the table, and can we honestly say THEY are welcome? When asked why they would do such a thing, Jeremy Courtney said that his neighbors believed that in marking their fellow Iraqis who are Christian, the Islamic State has marked them all. He claims that they have assumed that if the Islamic State comes for you, they can come for us all as well.......

You see, they have claimed the title of Christian, but not because they have converted from Islam, but because they see themselves in the suffering of their Christian neighbors.

Sisters and brothers, they are already at the table. Maybe it is time for us to serve, 

our world is full of foodies and they are hungry to be fed with a feast for the soul.

שלום ,سلام,‎ and Peace

Sources

“#WeAreN: Thousands Unite to Support Persecuted Christians in Iraq.” Christian Today. Accessed August 3, 2014. http://www.christiantoday.com/article/wearen.thousands.unite.to.support.persecuted.christians.in.iraq/39026.htm.

“#WeAreN: What the Media Misses about Iraqi Christian Persecution.” On Faith & Culture. Accessed August 3, 2014. http://jonathanmerritt.religionnews.com/2014/07/25/wearen-media-misses-iraqi-christian-persecution/.

“Behind #WeAreN: ‘If One Group Is Marked, We’re All Marked’.” Accessed August 3, 2014. http://sojo.net/blogs/2014/07/31/behind-wearen-if-one-group-marked-were-all-marked.

The New Man

I have heard it for years, it’s that time of year. It isn’t a concern about pollen, planting season, or yard work; it’s a concern about the fighting season. For those who have spent time at the VA, with therapists, counselors, or psychiatric professionals due to combat stress the “fighting season” is a familiar term. The fighting season follows the seasonal changes from winter into summer months. Much like the United States, the weather patterns in the Middle East transition from cool/cold to gradually warmer (a little more abrupt and extreme than in the states as you can imagine, however). When the weather gets hot in the Middle East tensions run high. In Afghanistan, we hear this referred to as the Taliban’s Spring offensive, which kicks off their fighting season. For combat veterans this means that around April until about October many of those memories come streaming back, even flooding back. Many times these memories come flooding into one’s conscience at the most inconvenient time and are triggered by the most inconvenient means. 

A few years ago while working as a police officer a partner of mine set off our siren horn as I was assisting a tow truck driver with a vehicle. It was not intended maliciously, it was only a common prank many officers would perform to give the other a jolt. That horn triggered me and I lost it. Needless to say, he and I never worked as partners again. Things have gotten better over the years, but my time in seminary has helped me deal with these triggers. I still have nightmares, memories, and feelings, however. The other day while working in the yard a car backfired. No one was around, I was working by myself. Regardless of the the solitude, once I swallowed my heart back down I leaned forward onto my hands and breathed a deep sigh as tears welled in my eyes. It never goes away, there is always a piece that we carry with us. It haunts and lurks in the places we hide from others. 

When I first returned from Iraq, I very intentionally avoided my triggers. One of the first football games I attended upon returning home honored veterans with a 21 gun salute and a flyover as I was entering the stadium trapped by a large crowd at the gate. My girlfriend, now my wife, knew my reaction was not positive and offered her support with a loving squeeze of the hand. My reaction was utter embarrassment. I was an alien in my own land. As tears welled up in my eyes I hung my head in shame. I was ashamed. For many years after, I avoided my triggers. I refused to be embarrassed, so I followed a strict policy of avoidance. 

It has only been recently that I stopped seeking the solution to the triggers and instead sought the root of the triggers themselves. This morning I awoke and it was that  time of year. A trigger went off last night and I couldn’t shake it. I fed the kids breakfast, smothered them with affection, brewed a pot of coffee, kissed my wonderful wife, but I couldn’t shake it. Nothing worked. I was stuck in that rut. I relived the worst moment in my life. 

Not everyone who died in Iraq and Afghanistan has come home in a wooden box. Many came home on their own two feet. Myself included. The man I was believed in love, light, truth, justice, and joy. It wasn’t naive, no more than the high schooler that falls in love the first time and believes that is the person they will marry. It might happen once in a while but it is rare. It is in that moment that a little bit of innocence dies. Just as the innocence of the high school sweetheart is destroyed, so too, is the innocence of the young infantryman who sees combat the first time. Heroism, courage, and chivalry are all part of the vision for the future, but that vision is most often ripped from the grasp of the idealistic infantryman by the reality of actual combat. When that young man dies, a new vicious one arises, cloaked in angry opposition to the world he now fully emerges into. What is worse is the young man who has died is left crippled and wasting away in the heart of the new broken man. He harbors the dying man in hopes he could be him again. 

What this means is the man who rises is death, hate, anger, and revenge as the most common replacements. The man who dies is idealism, mercy, joy, and compassion. The man who dies envisions ticker tape parades, sweethearts waiting with open arms, and free beer for the hero. He envisions the smell of fresh cut grass, the sound of waves crashing on the beach, and the feeling of condensation from a cool glass on his fingertips. The new man rises unaware of the fresh cut grass because he is cursing the palm trees above his head that remind him of the Euphrates river. The new man rises unaware of the waves on the beach because he is appalled by the touch of the sand on his feet reminding him of the thin substance that jammed his rifle. The new man rises ignoring the condensation on his glass because the glaring sun reminds him of the 130 degree days that melted the tar on the roof that gummed up all his gear while set in a defensive position on a rooftop. The joy turns to bitter and burning hate. 

What we consistently seek is healing of the man who died. We can’t find him. We never will. He is dead. Let him die. The new man, however, is not lost. The new man is broken. He has to be introduced to new joy. Maybe a new hobby, a new love, a new dream, but if he is left untouched, unloved, outcast, he will wallow in the darkness and only seek a darker seclusion to bury himself. He will seek solace in alcohol, violence, even revisiting the memory of his birth. “You don’t know, you weren’t there”  is a demand others acknowledge that the birth pangs of the new man are not only foreign to others but also a punchline around the office that the new man finds offensive and weak gestures by the unappreciative. It is in this punchline the new man resents and recluses himself. 

So what do we do with the new man? Abandon him? We created him. Many pacifists demand to know what they owe the new man. What they fail to recognize is that the new man has fought to support their choice of pacifism, protecting their opportunity to avoid violence and the horror of war. The new man has taken the place of the pacifist behind the sandbag. What is more, it was not the new man’s choice who or where to fight. The new man didn’t have the right to protest, write a congressman, or sign a petition; only to vote quietly behind a curtain. That is the responsibility of the people. The new man was an expression of the people, the choice of the people. If the people were opposed, yet failed to seek measures to sway the opinion of the government, they failed the new man, not the other way around. The new man is the Frankenstein of our society, he is our creation in our inability or refusal to do justice and implement righteousness. The pacifist can protest a standing army but when that army falls so will the pacifist’s continued existence as a pacifist. 

This isn’t an attack on pacifism but a call to recognize the need to care for the new man. Just as Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein was not a monster, neither is the new man. He is our own creation. What he needs are the resources to recognize himself for who and what he is. Once he acknowledges what he is, he must receive the love, attention, and redirection he needs. It is in that redirection he can find new joy, a new light to shine in his dark world. It could be a canine companion, a new education, a new hobby, a job opportunity, or maybe just the self restraint of not making an inappropriate remark about his experience. It cannot happen unless he seeks it out, however. If he seeks it and it is not there, he will most likely abandon his efforts and recluse himself again, deeper into the darkness. Every time he recluses deeper, he will be harder to find and his world will only grow darker. 

We owe the new man. We don’t owe money, honor, fame, or even happiness. What we owe him is the means, the means to find his own joy. His smile may only be half cocked, his laughter may be rare, and his touch may be hesitant and cautious. He may be callous, cold, cautious, and quiet. It isn’t for us to judge his disabled emotional reactions to the world he only recently realized was concealed by a curtain of idealism. He is a realist in a world most others do not acknowledge for its brutality. This doesn’t mean we accept it, it means we equip the new man, we love the new man, we brush the scars across his face and we welcome him home. He doesn’t always need to be healed medically, but every man, and now woman, that dies in the reality of combat needs to be welcomed home for what they are, aliens. They are new people in a new land, unsure of where to go, what to do, how to live in the midst of the darkness they never knew existed. We have a responsibility to hold their hands on this path as they seek a new way to find an old sense of joy in a world where joy may not be found around every corner anymore. Your corner might be a good place to start though.

שלום ,سلام,‎ and Peace